TOP MODEL RECAP

Ciao Bella… ok that is just about all the Italian I know, but it seems I might be ahead in the language department, at least that’s what it looked like when the girls stepped foot in Rome this week.

Seems like not only do these model wanabees need a translator, they might also need a Seeing Eye dog too. When Anya took one step onto the ancient cobble stone streets and as she said “ate it”… priceless…I felt like screaming into the TV “one foot in front of the other dumbass”. I guess there’s nothing like falling on your face in front of millions of people. As the girls took in the sights, I started to think how staged some of this looked. Did anyone notice the two Roman women who passed in their couture outfits and white and red pumps? Somehow I doubt this is exactly how the women in Rome dress on a regular…but whatever.

Finally the girls arrived back at their new home in Rome and when suddenly Fatima falls ill. Now I have no clue what exactly she was ill from, since she seemed fine before, but I love it when they get sick the cry about how they have come this far and don’t want to leave the competition… then get it together.

During this weeks challenge it was all about how the models looked like in some random designers clothes. Queue in Whitney with her “woe is me, I’m plus size crap”. I almost busted my gut when the designer told her all she could do was face modeling… wow that’s catty, MEEEOW. And I also agree with the designer, Dominique doesn’t look fresh, and then again, neither did he. The winner was of course Anya who won a red carpet gown that I’m pretty sure she will never wear but looked nice on the mannequin. And could someone please tell these girls to hide their hateration like maybe with a hand over their face. Yeah sure the girl just won $10, 000, and yeah she gets praised like mad from the judges, that should just be more motivation to step up your game… or quit.

There was no photo shoot but a cover commercial. Seeing as how none of these females had any training, I knew I was in for a treat. I was not disappointed when Lauren managed to mess up her lines (yeah ok they were in Italian) and look a hot trailer mess in front of the cameras. It was like watching an accident in progress and looking away was not an option. The others girls scrapped by but not by much, it wasn’t about who did great more like who sucked less.

At judging it was undeniable, even though it came to being between Lauren and “I’m plus size” Whitney, it clear as day that Lauren still can’t walk and is as awkward as hell in front of the TV cameras. I guess there is no place in Cover Girl for a punk trailer mess… sorry Lauren… I guess it’s back to the trailer park…but I do have some final advice for the poor girl…Lauren, try not to cut anymore limbs off…you’ll need them while your bagging groceries at the local Save-a-Lot…